For being such a realist/pessimist, I sometimes surprise myself with my optimism.
Take last January, for example.
Almost exactly a year ago I wrote a post, which I admitted at the time was written with “wide-eyed optimism.” You can read it here if you’re interested. In it I listed my badass resolutions for 2016.
Yeah. That happened.
On the fairly optimistic side, I did follow through on some of the resolutions, and I’m proud of that. Continue reading
Summer is over, which means kids are back to school (and parents are rejoicing).
I’m still at home.
I’ve completed paperwork in several districts. I’ve applied for teaching positions. I’ve emailed principals and called them on the phone. I’ve reached out to friends who have suggested jobs and let me know of openings in their orbit.
I filed for unemployment the other day. I’m going to try to get a teaching job for another few weeks and then… Continue reading
Why does this keep happening to me?
Why is it so easy for others to get a job? And keep a job?
Who in the universe did I anger so much that it is so difficult to find a job?
People who don’t like kids get (some) teaching jobs. People who shouldn’t be teachers get (some) teaching jobs. (Granted these are small percentages of the total teacher population.) Why can’t I? Am I that bad of a teacher?
Does this keep happening because it’s a sign that I’m doing something right and should keep up the fight to defend public education? Or is this one sign after another that I should have never been a teacher?
Have I spent my whole adult life living a lie?
Why am I such a failure?
I know this is far from a positive post, but if I’m going to share the stories of losing my job, there are going to be some low points. This just happens to be a low point that got written down on my phone one night. I don’t feel like this all of the time…but these thoughts have appeared in my mind more than once.
With that said…
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I had been to the Lincoln Memorial before. I had visited earlier in the week, even. But on this scorching July day, I wasn’t there by myself. Or with a few friends.
I stood before the Lincoln Memorial with hundreds of like-minded people. Ready to talk. Ready to listen.
Ready Continue reading
If this were a work of fiction, last year’s job loss and unemployment might have still happened. But then things would have fallen into place, a new job would appear, and the teacher would make a victorious comeback. Last year’s reality would be nothing more than memory. Not preparation for the next battle.
This is not fiction. Continue reading
It’s been a rough few days.
Well, honestly, it’s been a rough year, personally and professionally.
And nothing’s getting better. Continue reading
Growing up I was a straight A student. Even the possibility of a B was enough to put me in a panic and a state of depression. It was okay for others to get a B…but not me. It felt like failing.
I may be an adult, but I feel like I’m failing a lot these days. Continue reading